A novel about a young woman’s life-altering affair with a much older, married woman.

Mallory is a freshman in college when she meets the woman. She sees her for the first time at the university’s gym, immediately entranced by this elegant, older person, whom she later learns is married and works at the school. Before long, they begin a clandestine affair. Self-possessed, successful, brilliant, and aloof, the woman absolutely consumes Mallory, who is still reeling from her mother’s death a few months earlier. Mallory retreats from the rest of the world and into a relationship with this melancholy, elusive woman she admires so much yet who can never be fully hers, solidifying a sense of solitude that has both haunted and soothed her as long as she can remember.

Years after the affair has ended, Mallory must decide whether to stay safely in this isolation, this constructed loneliness, or to step fully into the world and confront what the woman meant to her, for better or worse. This simmering, unsettling debut novel reveals the consequences of desire and influence, portraying two women whose lives have been transformed by love, loss, and secrecy.

Praise

“If sometimes the in-your-face eroticism of romance fiction can take the listener out of the scene, the narrator Barrie Kreinik reads Michelle Hart’s steamy debut, WE DO WHAT WE DO IN THE DARK (4 hours, 58 minutes), with a heat that is at once thrilling and complex enough to hold you breathless…the balance of power is uncertain and ever-shifting; the sex all the more arousing for the raw questions it raises about female longing — for love and affirmation, but also for the safety of isolation, of never quite being known.” —Lauren Christensen, The New York Times’s “Best Audiobooks of 2022”

"Hart’s novel does something exceptional that few pieces of fiction have done successfully: She presents the older married professor as not only a complicated figure worthy of desire and suspicion, but makes her a woman too...Sometimes it’s erotic, sometimes it’s devastating. But the writing always crackles." —Scaachi Koul, The New York Times

"[S]hadowy, sly…subtle and momentous…In the end, this book is not an erotic thriller, nor a comment on #MeToo, nor an elegiac coming-of-age story about surviving a parent’s death. It’s more interesting. “We Do What We Do in the Dark” is a novel of coming out — not just as a queer woman but as a person. Mallory is sharing her story, embracing her desire and, in doing so, embracing herself." —Jessica Ferri, Los Angeles Times

“A transfixing queer coming-of-age novel... Hart’s prose is delicate and piercing... Auspicious and breathtaking.” —Publishers Weekly, starred review

"Complex in its premise with rich character work apparent from just the first few pages, this tale of forbidden love promises more than a tawdry affair. Intense interiority exudes from heroine Mallory, making for a magnetic read that feels at once revelatory and invitingly personal in its exploration of self." —Alison Foreman, The AV Club

“[The book] begins with a deceptive simplicity…..But as I continued, delving deeper into Mallory’s thoughts, deeper into Mallory’s past and future, the value of this specific telling became clear. It’s such a common trope, I sometimes forget how rarely it’s done well….But Hart’s novel is such a triumph because it goes beyond this one defining relationship.” —Drew Gregory, Autostraddle

“Grief, lust, and growing up coalesce in this quietly compelling novel…Diving into Mallory's mind feels like simultaneously wishing you could hug a friend while fearing you'll crack her brittle bones if you do, and the choice isn't yours anyway because she has no desire to be touched by you. But you wait, because you know some day she'll warm up, just a little bit, and it'll be wondrous to see.” —Dahlia Adler, Buzzfeed

“[A]n electrifying debut. Hart’s prose is concise and lyrical. Her ability to capture loneliness and the contradictions found in youth and grief is notable…But it’s not merely its relatability and poetic nature that makes We Do What We Do In The Dark so notable—its artful narrative structure creates a profound reading experience.” —Rachel León, Chicago Review of Books

“Hart's exquisite debut novel focuses on a young woman’s abject yearning for an older woman… In a series of vignettes crafted of sensual and intimate language, Hart brings readers directly into Mallory's pseudo-coming-of-age, showing us her vulnerability and adoration for someone who, even as she grows older, she never quite equals. This is a powerful evocation of desire, loss, and disappointment, a story that is at once about the pitfalls of falling in love with someone out of reach and the heartbreak that is part and parcel of growing up.” —Politics & Prose, staff pick

“A gorgeous storyteller, Hart is gifted with a poet’s precision, blending image and idea. Sensual and wise, We Do What We Do In The Dark channels the melancholic exhilaration of dangerous love.” —Tayari Jones, author of An American Marriage

“A beautiful book so filled with sharp longing and perfectly phrased vulnerability that I read it in a reverent hush. I turned the last page overwhelmed by gratitude; gratitude for the spell it cast over me, gratitude that Michelle Hart is the rare writer rigorous enough to capture such a fragile, fleeting mood.” —Torrey Peters, author of Detransition, Baby

“Reading this brilliant book is like holding a fierce yet trembling bird in your cupped hand, every tremble on the page causes a tremble in your heart. You can’t put it down.” —Akhil Sharma, author of Family Life and A Life of Adventure and Delight

“Michelle Hart’s first novel is a haunting study of solitude and connection, moving and memorable.” —Meg Wolitzer, author of The Female Persuasion and The Interestings

"It is a rare debut that exhibits the authority of voice and vision that Michelle Hart gives us in We Do What We Do In The Dark. I happily ceded an entire afternoon to her lucid and captivating queer bildungsroman, which is a story about grief, erotic obsession, and formation of identity whose telling resists easy moralizing in favor of the more honest ambiguities that mark lived experience." —Melissa Febos, author of Girlhood

“An unforgettable account of a forbidden romance made extraordinary by Hart’s precision and lyrical touch. A compulsive read that satisfies and haunts.” —Nicole Dennis-Benn, author of Patsy

“[T]ightly controlled…Not a #MeToo story; instead, something more delicate and strange and, at this point, more interesting.” —Kirkus

“Memorable . . . strong writing and unique characterizations. Hart understands how to propel a novel forward and does so with beautiful language guiding the reader.” —Debutiful